Wednesday, August 17, 2016

School Is In A Few Days And I'm Screaming

      So guess who still hasn't made it past page 45 in either of her summer reading books, needs to start and finish all ten responses (aka mini essays), and literally has no school supplies while schools is literally in two weeks? You guessed it; this ol' gal!

      In case you haven't read the title yet, I'm internally screaming. Like, in my mind; it's nonstop, continuous, uninterrupted screeching.

      Everyone is telling me "You're not even going to remember high school!" "High school is the best four years of your life! You'll hold it dear to your heart forever!" "High school is going to literally be the worst four years of your life. You're going to hate it and everyone around you and contemplate murder AND homicide at the same time and you're probably even going to attempt t one of those; or even both."

      So, yknow, anxiety levels are at an all time high and still dead and screaming inside and even sobbing a little bit. Why can't I just hear a "You're going to have good moments, bad moments. amazing moments, horrific moments; like pretty much any other year of your life. They're going to be pretty average. Don't worry if you didn't party enough or had enough friends or fit in well or if you got bullied; because there's so much other shit to worry about that you'll be focusing on when you graduate, you won't really care if high school was amazing or horrific because it. does. not. matter. whether. or. not. high. school. was. good. to. you. or. not. all. that. matters. is. what. you. take. from. what. you. learned. and. how. you. apply. it. to. real. life. after. high. school."

      But that's yet to happen. So, yknow, whatever. I'll just tell myself that after numerous mental breakdowns and crying over a super size chicken selects meal with a diet coke in the passenger's seat of the family's BADASS MINIVAN (yes, she does have a title. yes, she's a she. yes, it's necessary that the title be in italics, bolded, and underlined. sometimes we even call her Sylvia as a joke. yes, it's very weird. weirdness is genetic in my family, and Sylvia is a part of it.)

      But my mom is already talking to me about college. Like, we've had conversations about it and she instantly shot down my dreams in the past, but now she's acting as if I'm going to be applying this year. Like, no. I'm about to turn 14, I'm going to be a freshman in 14 days, got a few more years to add stuff to my resume, give me time to think, and actually have my high school years; thank you very much.

      By the way, I went to the mall on Sunday for back-to-school shopping; I left with some earrings (some were missing so they were on clearance), a sticker, some pins, a crop top my mother would never let me out of my house in, candles, and a full stomach. Literally, none of my "back to school" shopping was actually going to help me out with school.

      Like, I need new notebooks, new folders, more post-its; all that fun stuff--yet here I am with no money because I pretty much ate it all. How was it supposed to help me in any way, shape, or form? I have no clue, because its digested and gone now. Like, I literally went into the mall with I think around $50, and literally left with 67 cents. I wish I was being over exaggerating or joking, but i'm not. Once I got home, I checked my account and it literally said YOU HAVE $0.67 CENTS IN YOUR ACCOUNT. The words stared back into my soul because it was on McDonald's, candy, Starbucks, soda, all that schnazzy food stuff.

      By the way, if anybody wants to buy a 1-inch or 2-inch binder from me, hit me up; because at graduation, Mrs. Breinard and Mrs. Davey were going to throw out every binder and get rid of them because no one took their binders back, so me and my cousin literally raided every single binder, cleaned them out, and took the ones we wanted. Like I actually left with an entire box filled with 1-inch binders because that's how many I wanted.

      If I can save money, I will do so. "Free" is my favorite word. "Buy one, get one free" you bet my ass is right there. If there is a good sale or something is up for grabs; you can bet on all your dead family, I'm right there taking it all.

      Like, I'm no longer allowed to shop at Target because it's fantastic stuff and really cheap prices and my card is in the negatives after checkout. I basically need rehab for my shopping addiction I literally do not have any self-control.

      And don't get me started on Primark. I was so pumped for the store to come to America because it was a British store and all my favorite British youtubers shopped there and got the cutest stuff and have you seen the damn prices. Everything was less than $15 (except for the shoes, but they were for like $25 which is hella cheap nowadays) and I was basically sobbing from all the good sales. Also, their candles, holy fuck. I literally only had $4 when I went in there and I bought three candles.

      Their candles are freaking amazing. They're basically Yankee Candle just a little bit smaller and way cheaper. Their candles literally smell better than anything at LUSH. I wish I was joking. It's very hard to top LUSH, but god dammit, it's amazing. I got a vanilla candle for 60 cents, a blueberry candle for 90 cents (which I didn't think was possible but it is), and a "fluffy marshmallow" candle for 90 cents as well. The marshmallow and blueberry candle look like mason jars, and it's cute, but the sound of the metal against the glass when you screw the cap on sounds like nails on a chalkboard; but that could just be me.

      But like how am I every going to focus on school if I'm thinking about shopping? Like, I've never been into the whole "always being at the mall" vibe most of my friends have; but holy shit, I now understand. Like, if I was born rich, I would literally be broke. That's how bad my shopping addiction has become.

      Sorry if my blog posts are getting cringeworthy, but it's what's on my mind and I promised myself I would post monthly so this is the best I got. Sorry folks *throws horrific finger guns* but that's all for tonight